Communicating with others

I feel that I was pretty fair but yet critical when I evaluated myself. I realize that I talk faster when I am talking to others in a group setting but I always keep eye contact and try to explain myself thoroughly when giving a lecture or answering questions. I scored a 37 on communication anxiety inventory and I was evaluated as a 42 and 44 by my son and co-worker. I scored a 62 for verbal aggressiveness scale and I was evaluated as a 59 and 60 by my son and co-worker. I was placed in group 1 for listening styles and my son and co-worker both scored me in group 1 too. It seems that the two individuals who evaluated me felt the same as I did about my communication anxiety, verbal aggressiveness, and listening style. My son is 17 so I expected a big difference in his evaluation of me. I was really surprised on how he placed me in group 1 for my listening styles. Group 1 is a people-oriented style and they are empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others. This style helps build relationships, and is trusting of others. I do feel this is correct of how I listen. I find that I would rather have time with others for listening and communicating to ensure that they understand and know that I value their input and ideas. An insight that I gained about my communication anxiety was that I was evaluated as being uneasy in some communication situations but I do not worry a great deal about it. The level I evaluated myself at and the level I was evaluated at was the same as my son and co-worker. I do feel comfortable talking and discussing issues and topics about early childhood and or teaching a class or mentoring others. I understand the information and have over 20 years’ experience teaching young children. I talked about talking faster in group settings so maybe this is a bit of anxiety for me at the beginning and then I work it out as I continue to talk or lecture. I am an outgoing person so I believe this helps me to feel comfortable in-front of others. Talking fast has always been an issue. An insight that I gained about my verbal aggressiveness was that I never thought of verbal aggressiveness before. I know that I critique my personal children a lot and my son even talked about that to me when he did my evaluation. He joked and said, “Yes mom you criticize me all the time and never let me finish what I am saying.” I am his mother and that is my job to make sure he remembers who he is talking to and how he is talking to me. Respect in my house is a must and I try to communicate that to my children on a daily basis through example and representation. My verbal aggressiveness evaluation said I maintain respect and consideration for others and what they have to say. I feel I do try to maintain and represent this type of moderate verbal aggression because I feel it is important to uphold others to respecting individuals for what they have to say and how they say it. Consideration for listening and not attacking others for what or how they say something is important. We are all different communicators and we each have a unique style on how we display our verbal and nonverbal communication. My professional life is greatly influenced by communication just as my personal life. We all need to realize our strengths and weaknesses when it comes to listening and communicating with others. This evaluation helped me to see where I am strong and where I am weak. When others evaluate you that provides you with a clearer understanding of how others see your communication skills and listening skills. To build communication skills we have to understand where others see our weaknesses and build upon those weaknesses to strengthen our professional and personal communication and listening skills. I personally and professionally need to work on issues that make me uneasy and make sure I completely listen to what others say before I give my opinion.

Effective Communication with Different Groups

When I communicate with others at work I am more professional and adhere to my communication skills all the time. People at work and in my neighborhood are vastly different from each other. I still maintain respect and dignity at both work and home, but I have to be professional at work and at home I am more laid back and relaxed. I find myself communicating to others more openly and opinionatedly at home than at work. I work with a lot of diverse individuals and we agree to disagree respectfully with each other. We communicate in a manner that helps us to use the platinum rule. I do not feel that I communicate differently with other individuals based on their culture make up, race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, and varying abilities. I do believe that I make sure to show respect and dignity to others when I communicate. We have to understand the individuals we work with just as we understand the parents of the children we take care of. We must understand the cultural differences of our co-workers to make sure that we respect them for who they are and what they believe and how they live. This is also true for my friends and my neighbors. I do not know my neighbors very well, but I communicate to them and respect their home and property as I would want them to mine. Which is the platinum rule, "do to others as they themselves would like to be treated” by Milton Bennett. I was raised to respect others for who they are not how they believed or how they looked or how their economic status was. I was raised to show respect to others and be respectful to others no matter how they did or didn’t respect me. Communicating to others and communicating to them in a respectful manner is a verbal and nonverbal communication skill that has to be taught and learned, which is different for each culture, heritage, race, and ethnicity. I try to communicate to others and try to do so in a manner that demonstrates who I am as an individual that is professional when I have to be and laid back when I can be.

Observing Communication

The show I picked to watch was not a show of my choice. My 12 year old daughter loves to watch Dance Moms and that was what I had the pleasure of not listening to at first. The character’s relationships based on the ways in which they are communicating is quite impressive in this show. The girls that actually dance in the show have very little communication with each other except when they dance. It is amazing to see how the girls understand and know the other without even talking to each other. Granted most of the show is about the mother’s and Abby. If you ever take time to watch the girls communicate to each other, especially when they dance then you noticed how they communicate. They are unable to talk while they are dancing and their dancing is how they communicate. I was impressed with how I saw the show when the volume was off. I noticed more about the girls dancing and how they were dancing then I did when the volume was on. The show does focus on the mother’s and you can always tell what they are feeling and expressing based on their nonverbal behavior. Body language is so powerful and that is what makes a reality show intense and exciting so some. When you see people become emotionally attached or detached from others it somehow makes us want to see more. It is disturbing to me I do not really like this reality show. The main part of the show should be on the children dancing, which is a beautiful representation of elegant art and dance. When you watch the show without sound and you see the anger, frustration, and sadness in the mother’s faces you begin to wonder why they are so upset. Their children are dancing, why are you mad? This question goes over and over in my mind as I watch the show without sound. The facial gestures are often of despair, the only time I see happiness is when the girls are on stage winning the dance contest. The assumptions that I made about the characters and plot based on the ways in which I interpreted the communication was right on. I saw the children dancing and enjoying themselves for the most part. One time a child started to cry in the arms of her mother and I was unsure why, but it was because she did not have a solo part. I then later on saw the girl give another girl a hug. This was because one girl received the solo and the other did not and she was wishing her good luck. The body language from the girls in the show and the nonverbal communication from the girls was pleasant and heart-warming especially when they danced. The mother’s nonverbal communication was very apparent and obvious that they were upset. What they were upset about was unknown without the sound. The nonverbal communication just let you know that they were upset and angry most of the time. I could not base an assumption on what the plot was based off of the nonverbal communication, only that it wasn’t good. If I knew the show well then I would have been able to have understood the nonverbal communication between the mothers. My daughter watches the show all the time and she described the animosity between certain mother’s and why they did not like Abby and some of the other moms. The nonverbal communication was clear and obvious; you are just unable to understand why they were so upset and angry. It is amazing to watch shows without sound. My dad does this often because he is partially deaf and he uses closed caption. He tells me that it is easier to watch TV without the sound and just to read the closed caption. He said you find out what shows are truly really good to watch. I never thought of that before and I never understood why he said that until I watched a show without sound.

A skilled Communicator

When I think of someone who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context it would be my mother. I have never heard my mother raise her voice or even say a harsh word. My mom’s particular context would be our home. When you are growing up you learn from what you experience and that home life experience is a powerful influence on how you communicate and behave towards others. My mother taught me, by her actions, that communicating in a calm mellow tone helps to sooth and relax the listener. When we become upset, anxious, or irritated we raise our voice and encourage the listener to respond in the same manner. My mother taught me that a softer voice calms others and this is so true when working with children. A quiet voice quiets the children and gets their attention. I truly model my mother’s communication skills and techniques especially with my own children and the children in my classroom. With my own children I slip from time to time; I am not as good as my mother. My mom told me that she tape recorded herself when we were younger and she didn’t like what she heard so she decided to never raise her voice again. We model and learn from our parents and I am very glad that I learned a positive communication skill from my mother.

Professional Hopes and Goals

One hope that I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds is that I show respect and adhere to helping them feel comfortable and accepted in my classroom and in my program. I want the families and children to feel I am a teacher that cares about their children and their family. We are all diverse and unique individuals that come from a variety of backgrounds and cultures. I want and need to make sure my materials for weekly lesson plans are diverse. I find myself using materials that are not as diverse as they should be. I need to make preparations to make sure my props and attachments for my lesson plans are diverse and meet anti-bias curriculum requirements. I really enjoyed this course and learned a great deal from all the students and Dr. Turnhill. I love taking online courses and this course is a prime example of why I like them. We are all individuals online, we don’t judge based on looks, color, size, culture, sex, etc. We are each individuals that come to the course for a purpose. This has been a great course that has taught me a great deal about myself as a professional and personally. Melissa

Welcoming Families from around the World

In preparing for this assignment I decided to select the country of Poland as the country of origin for this family. Working with families and children is one of the most rewarding jobs however it comes with a lot of planning and preparing. I would want to try and make this child’s transition into a new learning environment as pleasant as possible with as much familiarity as possible. The first step would be to find out where exactly where in Poland the family was from. I would want to learn a few words in Polish especially thank you, please, and the town’s name. I would also try to write these words and others in English and Polish so the parents and staff could begin to recognize them. Being as knowledgeable as I can be with this diversity is essential to helping the family feel safe and comfortable. The second step would be to have a specific orientation with the family and maybe an interpreter so that they felt more comfortable and at ease with the center and classroom setting. Families who have a hard time communicating sometimes feel they are not appreciated or their family is not important. I want to make sure the family builds a bridge with us and their child’s classroom. I want to welcome their culture and diversity into the center and help them to feel as comfortable as possible. The third step would be to familiarize myself and the other staff with specific culture and religious attributes that would show our respect and understanding for the family. I would try and have a family questionnaire filled out with a translator if possible during the orientation. As much information about the child and family would be of great benefit for the staff and teacher at the center. The communication barrier will be a tremendous obstacle to overcome and key information from the family is important. The fourth step would be to bring in pictures, words, etc. into the classroom that originate from Poland and maybe even from their small town. The internet has valuable resources when it comes to finding unique pictures and memorabilia from different parts of the world. You can even get words translated into other languages to help with identification and pronunciation accuracy. The fifth step would be to involve the family into the learning environment and center. We want the family to feel they are valued and that their children are just as special as any other child. We are here to support families and children and we need to make sure that their diversity is embraced just as any other diversity. I think these five steps will help to plan and prepare for the family. When we reach out and make an effort to identify and familiarize ourselves with other family’s culture and diversity we are helping to build that bridge that is needed for them to fit into society without losing their diversity and culture.

The personal side of bias, prejudice, and Oppression

I experienced a bias when I first started working as a teenager. I was a waitress at a local pizza joint. My family lived close by and when you live in a small town everyone knows everyone else’s business. It is hard to do anything wrong in a small town without it being the next morning’s coffee shop talk. I grew up in a low income family and we were seen as such. We did not have money like most families in the town and as a teenager it affected me more so. I did have to work hard and build my own reputation. This started off when I was working as a waitress. I had a good job and made my tips from a lot of local customers that knew me and my family. One time I had a family that refused to sit at a table when they realized I was the waitress. They went to another part of the restaurant where my good friend was waiting on those tables. She was from a more prominent family and we had grown up together. She received a big tip that evening and she shared that tip with me. The bias I received as a waitress from that family made me feel unworthy and incompetent as a waitress. I was regarded as unworthy to serve them based on who I was and who my family was. My friend told me that she wanted to share the tip with me because they were seated in my section and they were my patrons to wait on. This story represents two separate representations of who people are and the choices they make. The family chose to move and have me not wait on them and my friend chose to share a tip that she felt I should have had the opportunity to earn. I learned more from my friend that evening than I did from the family. The family was prejudice against me and showed me true bias behavior. My friend taught me that even though they were that way, she knew it was wrong. At 16 my friend showed more maturity and un-bias behavior than a couple in their 40’s. Bias isn’t age based its moral and ethically based. I learned that we can stand up for what we feel is right at any age and I want to bring that to my classroom and instill that into my own children and the children in my classroom.