Communicating with others

I feel that I was pretty fair but yet critical when I evaluated myself. I realize that I talk faster when I am talking to others in a group setting but I always keep eye contact and try to explain myself thoroughly when giving a lecture or answering questions. I scored a 37 on communication anxiety inventory and I was evaluated as a 42 and 44 by my son and co-worker. I scored a 62 for verbal aggressiveness scale and I was evaluated as a 59 and 60 by my son and co-worker. I was placed in group 1 for listening styles and my son and co-worker both scored me in group 1 too. It seems that the two individuals who evaluated me felt the same as I did about my communication anxiety, verbal aggressiveness, and listening style. My son is 17 so I expected a big difference in his evaluation of me. I was really surprised on how he placed me in group 1 for my listening styles. Group 1 is a people-oriented style and they are empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others. This style helps build relationships, and is trusting of others. I do feel this is correct of how I listen. I find that I would rather have time with others for listening and communicating to ensure that they understand and know that I value their input and ideas. An insight that I gained about my communication anxiety was that I was evaluated as being uneasy in some communication situations but I do not worry a great deal about it. The level I evaluated myself at and the level I was evaluated at was the same as my son and co-worker. I do feel comfortable talking and discussing issues and topics about early childhood and or teaching a class or mentoring others. I understand the information and have over 20 years’ experience teaching young children. I talked about talking faster in group settings so maybe this is a bit of anxiety for me at the beginning and then I work it out as I continue to talk or lecture. I am an outgoing person so I believe this helps me to feel comfortable in-front of others. Talking fast has always been an issue. An insight that I gained about my verbal aggressiveness was that I never thought of verbal aggressiveness before. I know that I critique my personal children a lot and my son even talked about that to me when he did my evaluation. He joked and said, “Yes mom you criticize me all the time and never let me finish what I am saying.” I am his mother and that is my job to make sure he remembers who he is talking to and how he is talking to me. Respect in my house is a must and I try to communicate that to my children on a daily basis through example and representation. My verbal aggressiveness evaluation said I maintain respect and consideration for others and what they have to say. I feel I do try to maintain and represent this type of moderate verbal aggression because I feel it is important to uphold others to respecting individuals for what they have to say and how they say it. Consideration for listening and not attacking others for what or how they say something is important. We are all different communicators and we each have a unique style on how we display our verbal and nonverbal communication. My professional life is greatly influenced by communication just as my personal life. We all need to realize our strengths and weaknesses when it comes to listening and communicating with others. This evaluation helped me to see where I am strong and where I am weak. When others evaluate you that provides you with a clearer understanding of how others see your communication skills and listening skills. To build communication skills we have to understand where others see our weaknesses and build upon those weaknesses to strengthen our professional and personal communication and listening skills. I personally and professionally need to work on issues that make me uneasy and make sure I completely listen to what others say before I give my opinion.

Effective Communication with Different Groups

When I communicate with others at work I am more professional and adhere to my communication skills all the time. People at work and in my neighborhood are vastly different from each other. I still maintain respect and dignity at both work and home, but I have to be professional at work and at home I am more laid back and relaxed. I find myself communicating to others more openly and opinionatedly at home than at work. I work with a lot of diverse individuals and we agree to disagree respectfully with each other. We communicate in a manner that helps us to use the platinum rule. I do not feel that I communicate differently with other individuals based on their culture make up, race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, and varying abilities. I do believe that I make sure to show respect and dignity to others when I communicate. We have to understand the individuals we work with just as we understand the parents of the children we take care of. We must understand the cultural differences of our co-workers to make sure that we respect them for who they are and what they believe and how they live. This is also true for my friends and my neighbors. I do not know my neighbors very well, but I communicate to them and respect their home and property as I would want them to mine. Which is the platinum rule, "do to others as they themselves would like to be treated” by Milton Bennett. I was raised to respect others for who they are not how they believed or how they looked or how their economic status was. I was raised to show respect to others and be respectful to others no matter how they did or didn’t respect me. Communicating to others and communicating to them in a respectful manner is a verbal and nonverbal communication skill that has to be taught and learned, which is different for each culture, heritage, race, and ethnicity. I try to communicate to others and try to do so in a manner that demonstrates who I am as an individual that is professional when I have to be and laid back when I can be.

Observing Communication

The show I picked to watch was not a show of my choice. My 12 year old daughter loves to watch Dance Moms and that was what I had the pleasure of not listening to at first. The character’s relationships based on the ways in which they are communicating is quite impressive in this show. The girls that actually dance in the show have very little communication with each other except when they dance. It is amazing to see how the girls understand and know the other without even talking to each other. Granted most of the show is about the mother’s and Abby. If you ever take time to watch the girls communicate to each other, especially when they dance then you noticed how they communicate. They are unable to talk while they are dancing and their dancing is how they communicate. I was impressed with how I saw the show when the volume was off. I noticed more about the girls dancing and how they were dancing then I did when the volume was on. The show does focus on the mother’s and you can always tell what they are feeling and expressing based on their nonverbal behavior. Body language is so powerful and that is what makes a reality show intense and exciting so some. When you see people become emotionally attached or detached from others it somehow makes us want to see more. It is disturbing to me I do not really like this reality show. The main part of the show should be on the children dancing, which is a beautiful representation of elegant art and dance. When you watch the show without sound and you see the anger, frustration, and sadness in the mother’s faces you begin to wonder why they are so upset. Their children are dancing, why are you mad? This question goes over and over in my mind as I watch the show without sound. The facial gestures are often of despair, the only time I see happiness is when the girls are on stage winning the dance contest. The assumptions that I made about the characters and plot based on the ways in which I interpreted the communication was right on. I saw the children dancing and enjoying themselves for the most part. One time a child started to cry in the arms of her mother and I was unsure why, but it was because she did not have a solo part. I then later on saw the girl give another girl a hug. This was because one girl received the solo and the other did not and she was wishing her good luck. The body language from the girls in the show and the nonverbal communication from the girls was pleasant and heart-warming especially when they danced. The mother’s nonverbal communication was very apparent and obvious that they were upset. What they were upset about was unknown without the sound. The nonverbal communication just let you know that they were upset and angry most of the time. I could not base an assumption on what the plot was based off of the nonverbal communication, only that it wasn’t good. If I knew the show well then I would have been able to have understood the nonverbal communication between the mothers. My daughter watches the show all the time and she described the animosity between certain mother’s and why they did not like Abby and some of the other moms. The nonverbal communication was clear and obvious; you are just unable to understand why they were so upset and angry. It is amazing to watch shows without sound. My dad does this often because he is partially deaf and he uses closed caption. He tells me that it is easier to watch TV without the sound and just to read the closed caption. He said you find out what shows are truly really good to watch. I never thought of that before and I never understood why he said that until I watched a show without sound.

A skilled Communicator

When I think of someone who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context it would be my mother. I have never heard my mother raise her voice or even say a harsh word. My mom’s particular context would be our home. When you are growing up you learn from what you experience and that home life experience is a powerful influence on how you communicate and behave towards others. My mother taught me, by her actions, that communicating in a calm mellow tone helps to sooth and relax the listener. When we become upset, anxious, or irritated we raise our voice and encourage the listener to respond in the same manner. My mother taught me that a softer voice calms others and this is so true when working with children. A quiet voice quiets the children and gets their attention. I truly model my mother’s communication skills and techniques especially with my own children and the children in my classroom. With my own children I slip from time to time; I am not as good as my mother. My mom told me that she tape recorded herself when we were younger and she didn’t like what she heard so she decided to never raise her voice again. We model and learn from our parents and I am very glad that I learned a positive communication skill from my mother.